Walking With Doubt

Plunging ahead when you want to hold back

Photo by AGUNG SUKSMANTO on Unsplash

What do I really mean when I suggest you can “walk with your doubts”? I don’t want to be glib about this, so I’m going to unpack it.

Being full of doubt is fundamentally a state of dis-ease that can paralyze you to the point where you don’t feel able to make a decision or take action. It feeds procrastination and anxiety. It’s not a fun place to be and over time, pervasive doubt will erode self-confidence and become a vicious cycle that saps your energy and your will to try.

Pairing an active verb like “walking” with this static state of “doubting” feels like a blatant contradiction of intentions. And it is. That’s exactly what it is.

To walk with doubt is to find a way to move (psychologically and/or physically) even when you are in a doubting state.

And to do that, you have to consciously engage in a thought experiment that’s designed to disrupt your mental status quo just enough to allow you to develop new patterns.

You may still dwell primarily in a state of hurt, anger, frustration, and anxiety (all directed at yourself, at what you perceive to be your flaws and failures to achieve), but you crack the door open just a bit to let in some fresh air.

You may still hold tightly to your doubts, but, like Dorothy Gale cautiously tiptoeing out of her ruined black-and-white farmhouse bedroom into the technical world of Oz, you are preparing to walk.

The big question, of course, is how to accomplish this duality—to doubt while moving forward in some way.

“Take back your story…Let the voices in your head tell new stories about your life as an artist. Assert your power over doubt: It is your right.” —Wrangling the Doubt Monster

My response: It doesn’t happen all at once. And you need to be patient with yourself: change is hard and changing your core mindset, especially if you’ve held onto doubts for a long time, is really hard.

To be honest, you may well need to force yourself to take even a baby step. But you will. Because you want to. Because you owe it to yourself to get unstuck and begin creating.

And I know for a fact that you can do this. I know because I’ve done it (still doing it) and there’s nothing special about me. I know because I’ve spoken to so many other creative people who have stepped onto the path.

For example, I have a coaching client, not an experienced writer, working on a book. After I gave her feedback on ways to revise and reorganize some of her material, she came back to me and said she’d tried so hard, and got so frustrated, she cried.

“I can’t do this,” she said. “Maybe I should give up.”

I sent her back to the drawing board with strong reassurance that she could do it, plus some additional direction on how to go about it.

Lo and behold, she revised the chapter and made it 100 percent better.

She did the very thing she had cried over, convinced she couldn’t do it.

Then she did it.

She walked with her doubts: She didn’t stop doubting, but she made real progress ANYWAY.

To be sure, my client received encouragement. But that only goes so far. She made the change happen because deep down, she wanted to.

Walking with doubt is an effort I still make every day.

My new PR coach, and my publisher, have both harangued me for not thinking big enough or bold enough about the attention that my book (Wrangling the Doubt Monster) deserves. And not just the book—but me, as a so-called expert with a message people want to hear.

Really?, my doubt monster queries. Show me your credentials!

But I refuse to let doubt hold me back. There is tremendous joy, satisfaction, and a sense of self-actualization when you try to accomplish something you fear.

Getting a “no” is not the worst the universe can dish out to you.

So don’t hesitate to begin walking with your doubts. Take the step that will lead you along your own yellow brick road—toward self-fulfillment and realizing your dreams.

Because, as the old jingle goes, you’re worth it.